PROMOS OVER. but lots of mixed feelings in me. part of me want to play but part of me is burdened by the fact that my chance of retaining is like 99%

and i dont want next week to come. i dont want to reeceive the results and not being able to do anything to it. i dont want to see my papers. i dont want to fail. i dont want to hear the teachers and my parents preach. i dont want to be left with no other options. i really dont want to retain.

its like waiting for all the reality to hit back onto you next week. and i am really scared. i cant sleep at night cos i kept thinking of my results and i know i wont make it.

really put in alot of effort for my chem and bio. i admit i didnt study much for maths. but for chem and bio i did. i placed alot of hope on my chem and i wanted to do well but there were so many ques i didnt know how to do and had no time to finish. and for bio i did notes for every single chap till my fingers had blisters, and i memorised my bio till 4 every night but what i got was a paper than totally made me lose hope. really wanted to give up midway thru the paper cos i really didnt know how to do and had no more motivation to cont.

the saddest thing is when you put in lots of effort you dont see the results. people say that when you fail you keep trying, but when you keep failing, shouldnt we just give up.
its really tortourous when you keep trying but never once succeed. and whn people dont see the hard work you put in.
when i told my mum the bio paper was diff cos i didnt know how to apply my knowlede. she didnt pity me but said: never practice enough
when i told her that those i memorised really well wasnt tested and those i didnt place much emphasis on were tested. she said: why you nv memorise all
when i complain to her that the notes very thick and diff to unds. she say: who ask you nv start earlier.

:( i hope next week never ever comes. 我的心很酸很痛。

On the happier note, i have lots of post promo activities that i want to do.

1)i want to learn to play the piano :)

2)wushu. haha. suggested by geraldine. cos the day before chem paper when i was taking my nap. i had this horrible dream of this poor man who had to use a knife and cut his stomach and dig out his organ to sell for money. the painful part was when he just dug his whole hand in and whn his son asked him if its painful he just said no. then his face looked damn tong ku. then later in the night got this show showing a bad guy using a scapel and cut open this guy's adomen. super scary. its like two cutting scenes in a night. super xie2!!! so i felt very scared cos since young i have been scared of knives and i always had this thinking that someone will chase after me with a knife and stab me. then it would be damn painful. so i couldnt concentrate on my chem. once i try to start memo i would think of the guys face with all the pain and the hole in his stomach and the knife slitting his skin. so i tried to listen to canon in D to calm myself down and then geraldine told me to learn wushu for self defense in the future.

3) i also told my sister than i want to become a loner this holidays. like just stay at home everyday and not talk to anyone. cos i realise i find it irritating when my family members talk to me. i rather be aone then no one can disturb me. then i told my mum to build me a small room in the new house. then inside i will have a small rattan bed, a lousy table and a squat toilet in the corner. then i would just hide in the room then whole day and do what i like. quite nice rite. so my sister challenged me and ask me if i can dont talk to anyone(phone or msn) for a week and thinking of it, i think i cant. i guess i just went a little cranky during the exam period and found the ppl arnd me irritating.

4)i also want to complete my lifesigns surgical unit game on my ds. but i just keep dying. tried like how many trillion times.

5) shop shop shop and shop

6) play tennis

7) study?

haha. okay end of post promos activities.
the weather has been very cold these few days. are we going to have winter in singapore?? OH MY we have four seasons!!! :)

PROMOS OVER. but lots of mixed feelings in me. part of me want to play but part of me is burdened by the fact that my chance of retaining is like 99%

and i dont want next week to come. i dont want to reeceive the results and not being able to do anything to it. i dont want to see my papers. i dont want to fail. i dont want to hear the teachers and my parents preach. i dont want to be left with no other options. i really dont want to retain.

its like waiting for all the reality to hit back onto you next week. and i am really scared. i cant sleep at night cos i kept thinking of my results and i know i wont make it.

really put in alot of effort for my chem and bio. i admit i didnt study much for maths. but for chem and bio i did. i placed alot of hope on my chem and i wanted to do well but there were so many ques i didnt know how to do and had no time to finish. and for bio i did notes for every single chap till my fingers had blisters, and i memorised my bio till 4 every night but what i got was a paper than totally made me lose hope. really wanted to give up midway thru the paper cos i really didnt know how to do and had no more motivation to cont.

the saddest thing is when you put in lots of effort you dont see the results. people say that when you fail you keep trying, but when you keep failing, shouldnt we just give up.
its really tortourous when you keep trying but never once succeed. and whn people dont see the hard work you put in.
when i told my mum the bio paper was diff cos i didnt know how to apply my knowlede. she didnt pity me but said: never practice enough
when i told her that those i memorised really well wasnt tested and those i didnt place much emphasis on were tested. she said: why you nv memorise all
when i complain to her that the notes very thick and diff to unds. she say: who ask you nv start earlier.

:( i hope next week never ever comes. 我的心很酸很痛。

On the happier note, i have lots of post promo activities that i want to do.

1)i want to learn to play the piano :)

2)wushu. haha. suggested by geraldine. cos the day before chem paper when i was taking my nap. i had this horrible dream of this poor man who had to use a knife and cut his stomach and dig out his organ to sell for money. the painful part was when he just dug his whole hand in and whn his son asked him if its painful he just said no. then his face looked damn tong ku. then later in the night got this show showing a bad guy using a scapel and cut open this guy's adomen. super scary. its like two cutting scenes in a night. super xie2!!! so i felt very scared cos since young i have been scared of knives and i always had this thinking that someone will chase after me with a knife and stab me. then it would be damn painful. so i couldnt concentrate on my chem. once i try to start memo i would think of the guys face with all the pain and the hole in his stomach and the knife slitting his skin. so i tried to listen to canon in D to calm myself down and then geraldine told me to learn wushu for self defense in the future.

3) i also told my sister than i want to become a loner this holidays. like just stay at home everyday and not talk to anyone. cos i realise i find it irritating when my family members talk to me. i rather be aone then no one can disturb me. then i told my mum to build me a small room in the new house. then inside i will have a small rattan bed, a lousy table and a squat toilet in the corner. then i would just hide in the room then whole day and do what i like. quite nice rite. so my sister challenged me and ask me if i can dont talk to anyone(phone or msn) for a week and thinking of it, i think i cant. i guess i just went a little cranky during the exam period and found the ppl arnd me irritating.

4)i also want to complete my lifesigns surgical unit game on my ds. but i just keep dying. tried like how many trillion times.

5) shop shop shop and shop

6) play tennis

7) study?

haha. okay end of post promos activities.
the weather has been very cold these few days. are we going to have winter in singapore?? OH MY we have four seasons!!! :)